Archive for the ‘Pregnancy’ Category

And we start over…

I brought my Ob appointment forward to Monday.  Something ‘shifted’ on Sunday.  The fatigue lifted, as did the vague nausea and I no longer had any breast tenderness.

The US, first abdominal, then vaginal, then abdominal revealed that Twin B has also died.  No obvious cause. I’m thinking of miscarrying naturally in case a D&C will further compromise my uterus.  To date nothing at all is happening.  I don’t even have any cramping.  My Ob said it could take some time but if I find the wait too hard, to call him and he will schedule a procedure.

Emotionally I am fine.  I haven’t shed so much as a tear.  I did that already.

My plan – today – is to try ONE LAST TIME.  I will possibly do IVF so that the best embryo can be selected and now that we know Oestrogen is the answer to my lining issue I think I stand a very good chance of getting pregnant again.  As for staying pregnant – well that remains to be seen.

What a Rollercoaster

I thought that the best way to deal with my ‘lack’ of symptoms and set things to rest was to go for a scan.  My GP gave me a referral but I couldn’t get in for two weeks!  By then I would have seen my Ob and it would be unnecessary.  I finally found a place – at the back of beyond – that could do it for me last Thursday.  The day of the scan I was so nervous and quite queasy (Yay!).  When she positioned the screen so I could see what was going on I almost looked away.

After a bit of fumbling she said “We have two sacs” and then ” We have two babies”  I was very taken aback.  Who is pregnant with twins for fuck’s sake and has NO symptoms!!!  She did find a heartbeat for both Baby A was 142bpm and Baby B 139bpm.  

A bit about foetal heart rates:

Normal heart rate at 6 weeks is 90-113 bpm and at 9 weeks is 144-170 bpm. At 5-8 weeks a bradycardia (<90 bpm) is associated with a high risk of spontaneous abortion of some 80%.

I was briefly excited and so very very surprised.  Then she said they were measuring 6weeks 3 days.

I came crashing down.

I knew without shadow of a doubt that I was 7 weeks 3 days.  Something was wrong just as I suspected.  My btetas – previously high for a single – were now low for twins and the reduced doubling rate couldn’t be explained away by the higher numbers.

I have had many reassurances that it’s common to measure behind and sometimes the scan is inaccurate but I know today that all is lost.  Since the scan I once again have had a loss of all symptoms.  My breasts are barely tender.  I have no nausea and most telling of all no full feeling in my uterus.  At 8 weeks tomorrow and pregnant with twins I would have to feel something somewhere.  My pants feel looser today. 

The Ob is on Tuesday.  I feel strongly that the appointment will be to organise a D&C.

I am already planning my next move – it’s the only way I know to get through.  If DH agrees I will give one more shot with IVF where the best Embryos can be selected.  Hopefully the D&C will help to rectify my uterine lining issues as it was suggested as a possible fix a year ago.

 I can only expect the worst and hope for the best either way.

I would so love to have had twins 😦

6w3d

Well I tried to book a scan. In the absence of any symptoms I confess I have good days and bad. I would really like to enjoy this! Can’t get in until the 4th of May. Aaargh!!!

So it’s back to the drawing board.

On our way!

Fourth beta is in.

9812

I even smiled 🙂

Beta at 28dpo

How do you define insanity?

Last night after yet another completely symptom free day I decided to stop my Progesterone.  I had gone to the Dr that morning for a repeat Beta but the result was late.  She agreed with me that it sounded like a Blighted Ovum.  Notice no health professional has tried to talk me into this pregnancy yet…

 

Result came back today 2493.  I am officially gobsmacked.  This is progressing as it should.

First beta 14/15dpo 205

Second 17/18dpo 475 – doubling time 59.39hrs

Third 22/23dpo 2493 – doubling time 50.17hrs (ideally in 80% of successfull pregnancies betas will double every 48 – 72hrs

I can’t handle it.

Today I’m sad.  I have cried and cried.  I’m so sure this isn’t going to work.  I still have no symptoms.  I feel COMPLETELY NORMAL and I’m sick of my few well meaning friends who know telling me I’m paranoid and it will be ok.  I haven’t told Mum because I wanted to save the news for when I’m sure.  I don’t think that day will come.  I should get another beta tomorrow so I can at least stop taking the progesterone.  My tests have stopped getting darker.

22dpo

FRER 22dpo sure that beta is not progressing

this was 18dpo

FRER

First Beta

I went to the Dr yesterday and asked for a Beta. Result came in at 205.  I was 15dpo so that’s pretty good.  When the Dr (not mine) phoned me with the result he said “I don’t expect that it will be viable at that level.  I hope you aren’t too disappointed”  Fortunately, although he wasn’t to know this, I had set myself up for disappointment from the moment I’d had sex.

Betabase begs to differ saying the median level at 15dpo (and I could have been 14dpo) was 135.  

So I’m still in the running and still symptomless.

Here is my FRER from 13dpo and today, 16dpo

13dpo             img_5184