IVF cancelled

Again I’m up early and I must say completely without emotion.  I feel neither negative nor optimistic as I drive to the hospital and wonder about this place I now go regularly where I am completely detached.  I wonder if people who have no children at all and suffer the disappointment of failed IVF have such a place.  The more I do this the more I feel for those less fortunate than me.

So I have my blood test at 7:30 and finally get my ultrasound at 8:20 despite being second on the list. I have the guy who couldn’t find my ovary during a femara cycle last year.  His technique has not improved.  He insists on sitting on the bed in front of my ‘bits’ which I find very disconcerting.  All other Dr’s stand next to the bed thus preserving the illusion of modesty but not this guy.  I almost felt like he was going to climb in.

He announces to the nurse two on the left at 25mm and 10mm and none on the right.  I say, ‘Well I had two on the right three days ago…’ He then finds my right ovary and discovers an 18 and a 15 – or so I recall.  He didn’t measure my lining and quite frankly I didn’t want him ‘in there’ any longer than necessary as he is down right uncomfortable!

I decide to phone the co-ordinator later that morning to get her opinion on what to do.  The notes she has say 20mm, 16mm and 2 x 10mm.  Wtf?

I ask to convert to a timed cycle which she says she is sure Dr T will agree to.  I’m not wasting all that money without definite numbers.

Later I get my Estrogen reading 3300 (U.S 892 ). Here they like 800-1000 per mature follicle so I’m guessing I definitely have 3 but maybe not quite 4 so cancelled the IVF.  I’ll trigger tonight and grab hubby tomorrow and Saturday.

Estrogen

Yesterdays estrogen was a surprising 1900 (U.S 513).  Another test today and possibly a scan tomorrow.  I picked up more Gonal-f and my trigger so I’m all set.  Hoping there are enough to bother with retrieval ( for me that means more than 3) which may be on the weekend at this rate I guess

And today’s is 2200 (U.S. 595 – I think.  I’m dividing by 3.71 but this could be completely incorrect)

I’ve also noted the lack of early monitoring with this clinic.  Especially when compared to those in the US.  I have never had an antral follicle count or a cd3 scan.  At my last scan they estimated follicle #2 at ‘maybe 7′ which led me to think that their equipment possibly can’t pick up anything smaller.  So today I asked and sure enough they can only detect follicles at around 8mm.  This doesn’t seem quite right to me….

Not setting the world on fire – stim day 8

Again I was up at the crack of dawn and off for my trusty ultrasound.

My left ovary could not be seen and the right contained two follicles – one at 7mm and one at 10mm.

My hope is that there are some little ones that can’t be seen yet because this doesn’t seem to correlate with my E2 level from yesterday (1200 [U.S. 324]). My clinic also doesn’t seem to ultrasound early in the cycle which makes me wonder if their equipment is capable of picking up anything under 7 mm???

Either way I am happier than I would have been if there were three pegging at 12-15 as that would have been a waste of time.  This way I either end up with more or I cancel if there’s still no response and switch protocols I guess.

Good news is that my lining was 11 mm.  Woot!

And today’s estrogen is 1300.

Stim day 8

I was up early this morning to trek into the hospital for my first blood test this cycle.  Not a great way to start a Sunday but if it correlates to my retrieval also being on a Sunday I’ll be wrapped.  Results should be in at about 3pm.

I feel pretty good.  My temps are nice and steady and I occasionally get a bit of an ache around an ovary but that could be bruising from the jabs – which I don’t even feel anymore

I am hoping that the lack of a temp rise at the beginning of my cycle indicates that I didn’t experience the side effect I was worried about.  I guess today’s result will also shed some light. So far I have no instinct at all.

Actually I do have an instinct.  My bet is on four follicles and no more.  Such an optimist

Estrogen was 1200 (U.S 397)

Eeek!

As is my want I have been furiously researching and I’ve discovered a side effect of the Flare protocol is that it can reignite your old corpus luteum and cause your progesterone to be too high at the beginning of the cycle.  It can also cause a surge in LH which prematurely matures the follicles.  This can result in a poor response and lower quality eggs.  What would be my luck that it happens to me?

Well I start tomorrow so I’ll soon find out

Count down

I’m counting down the days until my last try at IVF.  Hopefully I will start next cycle.  My FS friend didn’t follow through due to personal issues so I have taken on a FS who is known to be good with ‘over 40’s’.  I really liked Dr M but he just seemed too conservative for my last try.

This time, with Dr T, I am doing a flare cycle.  Starting with 15iu of Lucrin (Lupron) on cd2 along with 450iu of Gonal-f.  He says he doesn’t consider me a poor responder  - he has a different protocol for that.  Scheduled co-ordinator meeting is on Tuesday the 8th and that’s the day my period is due.  I’m also looking at PGD which  ’unofficially’ lifts the success rate to 20%. My clinic’s error rate is 6-10% which is much lower than most in the States due to the more rigid controls we have on who can handle embryos here.

I am finding that the longer this goes on, the more accepting I am of the fact that it is my age that is causing all my issues – and therefore more accepting that it may never happen.  Once again though I’d like to feel I gave it everything.